FitBit: The Gamification of Weight Loss
As many of you that follow me on Twitter know, I recently acquired a new bit of technology in my life: the FitBit. This article is a story about my first 30 days with the device, and how I’ve already lost 7 pounds.
This is not your father’s pedometer.
This has become a consistent subject of conversation with people I talk to, primarily because it’s a cool device that I always have with me, and I love talking about tech. When I show it to people, and give them my explanation that the FitBit keeps track of steps, calories, flights of stairs, sleep cycles, and more, the response is generally the same:
“Oh, it’s a pedometer.”
Perhaps in some ways it is, but for me, it’s incentive. The device wirelessly syncs with a base that plugs into my USB port, and my tracking data is automatically uploaded to their website (privately) so that I can see reports over time. Here’s my activity chart, for example (I work at a computer all day, don’t judge):
As you would expect, there are also achievements to be gotten. While I would have expected them to motivate me more, to this point, they’ve only been small blips of celebration rather than the motivation they are supposed to provide. That being said, I do look forward to the opportunities I have to get a bunch of walking in, and I keep an active eye on getting to my 10,000 step-a-day goal. (I’m only averaging ~5,000 steps per day right now.) I have the strong desire to take more steps each day, but that hasn’t been enough to actually get me outside taking some. I hope that as the weather turns warmer, my feeling on this will change.
With all of this rich data, I really thought that this device was going to be the thing that kept me aware of my activity levels, and would be the breakthrough I needed to finally lose some weight. It wasn’t.
Calories are more important than steps.
Part of the tools for FitBit include tracking for a great number of other considerations: your activities (you swam a mile today? log it.), your weight (a manual entry process, but they are coming out with a wireless scale that logs it automatically), sleep, heart rate, blood pressure, and even glucose levels. Obviously, you have to measure all of this data yourself, but it’s nice that you can keep it all tracked in one place. There’s also a journal for you to measure your mood, energy, allergies, and your thoughts on each day. All of these are great, but the greatest tool in their arsenal is the food tracker.
This is where gamification has affected me dramatically, and here’s the best part: it’s actually free for anyone to use, even if you don’t buy a device.
Never in my entire life have I really worried about what I’ve eaten. Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t been gorging myself on Twinkies and Hostess Pies, but I’ve also never been a guy to turn down another piece of pizza. That has resulted in my gaining about 4 pounds a year, every year, since high school. Yes, I am actually (as of today) 70 lbs. heavier than I was when I graduated high school. But I was also a three-sport athelete good enough to be a Division 1 collegiate diver. I graduated high school at 135 pounds, and don’t have any expectations of getting back to that. My target weight is 170.
Back to the food tracker. I enter everything I eat, after every meal. 80% of the time, the site already knows about my food. Most restaurants’ entire menus are listed, with nutritional information, and I can just search for my entrée. For the food I make at home, most of my groceries are represented, or a similar substitute is there. If there isn’t, they give you the ability to update their database with your new item in about 5 seconds, and then add that food to your log.
This little box is almost exclusively the reason I am losing weight:
There’s only three pieces of data, but they absolutely dictate how I’m going to eat the rest of the day. First, there’s how many calories I’ve eaten today. It’s a useful way to make sure that I have consciously added all of the food I’ve eaten. If the number seems low at 3:00pm, I probably didn’t enter my lunch food yet, and I should do that.
Second is the “under goal” number. This number, for me, is a "you will not exceed this number,” type of value. I never, ever let myself eat something that will take me over that limit. This is where the gamification, for me, comes in. If I get invited out to one of my favorite restaurants, I am not going to opt for the salad while crying little tears for my favorite foods. (I’m looking at you, 900 calorie Firecracker Chicken at Molly’s Woo’s.) Instead, I make compromises with myself. “I can have that delicious chicken, but I’m going to have to be careful at dinner. Maybe just a bowl of soup and some crackers.” By never letting myself go over the number, I am losing weight at a record pace (for me), and I’m still not hungry. In fact, I’m still eating whatever I want, for the most part. But I might only have 1 slice of pizza at a user group meeting instead of my standard three.
Finally, there’s the weight goal. This is how everything gets determined. When you first set up the tools (which again, are free for anyone to use), it asks you to set a weight goal.
Next it asks you about how aggressive you want to be in getting to your goals. I chose “Medium”, primarily because “Easier” seemed too easy, and “Kinda Hard” and “Harder” seemed almost unhealthy.
Every morning, I step on the scale, and add it to my FitBit log. Based on the weight I’ve lost (or gained, it happens), it will dynamically update my estimated date until completion. I don’t want to see that date move into the future, I want it to get closer to now. This is my motivator.
The Wrapup
In short, I’m losing weight effectively for the first time in my life, and I haven’t even started adding real exercise to my regimen. As the weather warms up, I’m sure I’ll take a few trips around the neighborhood each night. It’s still very early, but I truly believe that having a consciousness about what I’m eating is having a direct impact on my life.
I think that the FitBit device is an astounding piece of technology engineering, and it is providing me with the confirmation that I’m a sedentary software developer that needs to get on his feet more. I don’t think that the device alone is enough to have an effect, however.
You need the desire to change your eating habits, if only slightly, and the willingness to record everything you eat. Omitting that Baby Ruth is only cheating the system for yourself.
If you do decide to pick up a device, add me as your friend on the site. My username, not surprisingly, is jeffblankenburg. I’d love to have a few more people pushing me to take a few more steps every day.
Finally, there’s apps available for using FitBit on the go (there’s also an API, if you’re feeling ambitious). You can’t sync your device remotely (unless you have the receiver plugged in to your internet-connected laptop), but you can enter your data, food, weight, etc. Here’s my picks:
6th Anniversary
407 articles ago, I started writing on this website. I’ve gone through several site rewrites, and numerous writing experiments, but I’m still just writing whatever comes to mind.
To celebrate, I thought I’d dig up some of my older, but most popular posts of the past. Some of them make me chuckle even to read the title. Here you go…the top 10 articles this site has ever posted.
10. How Technical Recruiters Get It Wrong (5/19/2011)
9. Are We Being Scammed on Our Displays? (6/6/2011)
8. Be A Creator, Not a Consumer (1/3/2012)
7. 31 Days of Mango: Day 1 – The New Windows Phone Emulator Tools (11/1/2011)
6. Source Control Software Is Too Intrusive (7/21/2011)
5. Why Is Everyone Getting Hacked? (6/30/2011)
4. 31 Days of Silverlight (6/9/2009)
3. 10 Reasons Zune Beats the iPod. Seriously. (11/5/2008)
2. 31 Days of Mango (10/31/2011)
1. 31 Days of Windows Phone (9/30/2010)
A sincere thank you to all of you who read my articles. Without readers, writing wouldn’t be nearly as much fun. Thank you, sincerely, and here’s to another big year of writing.
My 2011 Wrapup
Time for a quick wrapup of my 2011...
January - Started the year with a successful new session at Codemash. Here's hoping this year's version is even better.
February - Participated in the Microsoft MVP Summit in Redmond, WA. As a Microsoft employee who works in Ohio, I don't get many opportunities to interact with the folks at headquarters. Every trip out there is a rewarding experience.
March - Got to attend South by Southwest (SxSW) in Austin, TX, where I met a ton of passionate mobile developers who I still have relationships with today. Also got to take my wife and children to Hocking Hills State Park, where we did 5 days of "cabining." It was excellent.
April – Participated in the Microsoft MIX conference in Las Vegas, NV. Met a ton of developers that were excited about Windows Phone, and gave many phones away. I also had an opportunity to visit the headquarters of Zappos, which left a lasting impression on me. They have a very unique way they look at their business, and I only hope that when I start a company, that I have the kind of vision they have.
May – May rang in the 2011 edition of the Stir Trek conference, and it was another grand success, with over 700 attendees. 2012 is poised to be even bigger. I also had the good fortune to be asked to travel to Dublin, Ireland to speak with developers all over the island about Windows Phone. Sara and I made the trip a few days early, and toured the Emerald Isle. It was a wonderful, whirlwind trip, and I hope we get more opportunities like that in the future. Almost immediately upon my return however, I tore the ACL and meniscus in my right knee playing volleyball. I’m still doing physical therapy today. To close this busy month, my little sister got married in May. I couldn’t be happier for her and her husband.
June – June kicked off my first ever bookwriting experience, and it didn’t disappoint. I spent the remainder of the summer writing, editing, and re-editing a book on Windows Phone development. I also had my injured knee surgically repaired, and I have someone else’s ligaments in my leg. I am thankful that someone was willing to be a organ donor, even if it was for something like a knee ligament. I also took a week-long vacation to the beaches of North Carolina with some good friends. It was a great trip, and I ‘m looking forward to hanging out with everyone again this year.
July – I turned 35, and my little brother got married. I wish them both the brightest future. Also, I spent most of this month writing the book.
August & September – August and September were probably my busiest travel months. I visited St. Louis, Cleveland x 4, Chattanooga, San Antonio, Los Angeles, Austin, Tulsa, and Terra Alta, WV.
October – In October, I was introduced to the staff at Chagrin Falls High School. I helped them start an “App Club” and they have about 20 students actively building apps for Windows Phone. They’re learning invaluable lessons through this experience about software development, marketing, design, and analytics. I continue to look forward to working with them every month.
November – I got to help kick off the inaugural M3 conference, which is dedicated to all walks of the world of mobile development. Android, iPhone, Windows Phone, design, and business were all represented. It was an eye-opening experience, and a great conference for Columbus to hang its technology hat on.
December – After a week-long trip to Chicago early in the month (I really love that city, btw), I got to take the last half of the month on vacation. Now, I still had work to do, but I did my best to at least do 1/2 days when I could. It’s been a relaxing end to the year, where we will have some neighborhood friends over for board games, Kinect, and some pizza.
I’m looking forward to an exciting 2012. Resolutions will be forthcoming in the next few days.
(This was my 53rd article of the year. Next year, expect the bar to be raised.)
M3…and why it’s called “M Cubed”
It’s time to get this blog warmed up again…and what better way than to announce a new conference?
On November 18, in Columbus, OH, there is a new conference spinning up. The M3 Conference (pronounced “M cubed”, but will likely be just referred to as M3) is taking on the three important aspects of mobile software development: design, business, and development.
This provides an opportunity for anyone interested in the mobile software industry to come and learn about how the business works. Designers can learn from experts how to build apps that truly shine. Developers can gain valuable knowledge about each of the major mobile platforms, and how to write software for them. Finally, for the entrepreneur in all of us, the “Business and Marketing” track will talk about how to get your app into the hands of your users, and MAKE MONEY doing it.
In short, everything you need to get started in mobile software is in one place, at a very unique venue: COSI. Columbus’ Center of Science and Industry is an award-winning science museum with unique architecture and exhibits you can check out during the day.
So what are you waiting for? Head over to the M3 Conference website: http://m3conf.com and get registered!
Why Is Everyone Getting Hacked?
In yet another example of corporate technical incompetence (or perhaps technical superiority on the part of the hackers), Citigroup announced today that “hackers accessed the data of over 200,000 bank card holders”. (full article)
I have a couple of questions about this process, because I don’t believe the PR spin.
How do they know?
Every time a large corporation gets compromised, they state, with certainty, that only certain portions of their data were leaked. “Birth dates, social security numbers, card expiration dates and card security codes (CVV) were not compromised.” How do they know that? They certainly didn’t know they had a gaping hole in their data center, how can they say with a straight face that only certain pieces of data were taken?
I suppose it’s possible that the “other data” was stored in some other database, in some other data center, but are we really supposed to believe that?
I’m by no means a security expert, but I used to run a small web server with a database. It was attacked. I can’t tell you with certainty whatsoever about what data was taken. At all. Neither could my hosting company. So how are these big companies so capable?
They say that only 1% of the 21 million North American customers were affected. How can they possibly be that certain if all of those records were sitting together in a database?
How did they fix it so quickly?
Another important part of the “we got hacked” PR is the reassurance that this won’t happen again. Like I said before, I’m not a security expert, but if I were a hacker, and I gained access to something as valuable as Citi’s database of credit card numbers, isn’t is also possible that I left a back door open so that I can come and go as I please in the future?
"We are contacting customers whose information was impacted. Citi has implemented enhanced procedures to prevent a recurrence of this type of event." If you had “enhanced procedures” immediately available to you to “prevent this type of event,” why weren’t they already implemented? How did you have exactly the solution to prevent this breach sitting around, but hadn’t done it yet?
Why did they wait so long to tell anyone?
Finally, when a breach is revealed, it’s always at least a month later. This one actually happened in early May. 30 days is an eternity in the personal data world. That’s an entire credit card billing cycle. It’s certainly long enough to borrow an identity and destroy someone’s credit rating.
My hope is that they took that time to determine the scope of the damage, but it’s far more likely that those 30 days were spent trying to figure out the best way to spin this. Much like the Russians were the scapegoats in the 80s, and the Middle East in the 90s, I find it interesting that all of the hackers seem to be living in China now. Google and Citi are pointing their fingers to the Far East. It’s far more likely that the hackers are routing their traffic through a compromised Chinese server, but I don’t want to take anything away from the 1,000,000,000+ people of China. Maybe they are just getting craftier.
Summary
Finally, I found the last paragraph of the article to be the most telling about this entire situation. Citi (and I’m sure many other organizations) seems to have thrown their hands up about security:
"Security breaches happen, they're going to continue to happen ... the mission of the banking industry is to keep the customer base safe and customers feeling secure about their financial transactions and payments."
The way I read that is this:
“We have no idea how to secure our data, but it doesn’t matter. Our responsibility is to make our customers feel like their data is safe, regardless of whether or not it really is.”
What do you think is the cause of all of these breaches at Sony, Google, and now Citi? How many hacks do we never hear about?
Cars: What Are We Paying For?
I recently started shopping for a new car (my lease is almost up), and was absolutely blown away by the cost of a new vehicle. To start, I looked at getting a newer model of the same car I was driving: the Nissan Altima.
Nevermind that the car hasn’t actually changed since 2008, when I bought my last one. It’s almost $3000 more expensive with the same options. What am I paying for? It has no new features, it’s just newer. That’s ridiculous.
I’m sure that everyone’s list is different, but here’s my list of “must-haves” for a vehicle. (DISCLAIMER: My wife drives a 2011 Honda Oddysey, and the car I’m describing rarely transports anyone but me. For long trips, or any kid-transport, the Oddysey is where it’s at.)
Must Haves
- Gas Mileage – no less than 28mpg city, 35 mpg highway. Higher is better.
- Bluetooth Connectivity – I drive and work (make phone calls) a ton. Not having to hold my phone is a must.
- MP3 Player Compatibility – I certainly understand that everyone but me seems to own multiple iPods, but I don’t. I’d still like to listen to podcasts and music while I’m driving without feeling like an outcast. At a minimum, I need an AUX jack.
- 4 Doors – From time to time, I do transport other adults, so the car has to be able to carry 4 adults comfortably for a short trip. Again, for longer trips, we would use the Oddysey.
- Leather Interior – I’m messy, especially when I’m driving a few hours to a conference, presentation, etc. Leather seats are a must for someone like me. Cloth seats would be stained within days of getting a new car. Leather seats wipe clean every time.
- Automatic Transmission – I haven’t driven a stick transmission since high school, and I don’t think I’m going to start that again. Stick is fun, but it’s not practical, if you can justify the price. I’m not driving this car for its handling or acceleration. I just need to get across town.
- Trunk Space – I’m a golfer, and I need a car that can hold 2 golf bags (minimum) in the trunk. That might be the only thing the trunk EVER gets used for.
- Power Everything – power seats, power locks, power windows. These should be standard on every vehicle.
Nice-To-Haves
There’s also the list of “nice” things that would be cool to have in a car, but aren’t going to stop me from buying something that doesn’t have them.
- Moonroof – I’m not getting a convertible (because they’re just too expensive), but getting some fresh air blowing in the car is always nice.
- Navigation – While I have free, turn-by-turn directions on my phone, there’s something nice about having it in the dashboard, on a nice big screen. If I was facing two equal vehicles, this would definitely tip the balance.
- Driving Itself – You may think I’m kidding, but you’ve already seen it in the commercials. Cars can parallel park themselves. I’d love a car that did that, but I certainly don’t require it.
- Back Up Camera – it would be nice to see how much room I have left behind my car, and would greatly benefit me if my car can’t drive itself.
- Voice-activated Communications – the ability to talk to my car and have it respond would be awesome. “"Lights on.” “Drive to Chipotle.” “KITT, come save me.”
- HD Radio – This is actually a really cool technology, and there’s plenty of new radio stations you’ve never listened to (with fewer commercials, too!)
- Heated Seats – These seem like such a frivolous feature until you jump in your car in January. Then they’re amazing.
Summary
To get everything in my list, I expected that I was going to need to start looking in the “luxury” category. But an entry-level Lexus, Acura, or Infiniti starts around $35,000. That’s significantly more than I wanted to spend on a car. I don’t have some ritzy image to portray. I don’t need a Mercedes. I need a car. And this is where the point of this article comes from:
What are we paying for?
There are not that many vehicles that can meet my long list of requirements. Almost all of them are in the luxury category. But why? I have been struggling with this fact for months. Why do I have to spend $35K (or more) to get the cool stuff? I’m obviously a technologist, and I want that technology. I don’t care nearly as much about your V6 engine, your sport-tuned suspension, or your fancy British accent in your commercials. At the end of the day, it’s a seat that transports me from one location to another.
In the past, I used to look at American cars. But over the past decade or so, I always felt like they were of lesser quality. My #1 judgement of the quality of a car’s manufacturing? Interior door handles. If they feel cheap, I’m never going to be able to get past it. However, with all of the noise that SYNC has been making over at Ford (especially as a Microsoft employee), I felt I owed it to them to at least check out what they were offering.
I decided to check out the 2011 Taurus (which looks very cool from the outside), and the 2011 Fusion. After pricing out the Taurus (it starts at $25K), it was almost as expensive as those lower-end luxury models I mentioned earlier. Plus, the gas mileage wasn’t very good, at 18/28. The Fusion, however, looked like I could get the features that I wanted, at a more modest price tag (it starts at $19K), and 5mpg better in both categories (23/33). I went for a test drive, and my fears were immediately confirmed. It just felt cheap. It was a nice car, but it just didn’t feel “nice” to me. I started to think that what I’m paying for is that “nice” feeling.
I went home and started over. I was determined to find a car that had piles of technology at a more modest price. Nissan. Nope. Toyota. Nope. Honda. Nope. Chevy. Nope. But during this search, I started considering slightly smaller vehicles. And this led me back to Ford.
I checked out the 2012 Ford Focus online. Not a name I generally associate with a great vehicle, my mind was open at this point. Every single feature I listed above, in both lists, was available on this car. For a reasonable price. How was this possible? I guess I need another test drive.
The car drove responsively, the nice chrome door handles were solid. It had enough space for my wife to sit comfortably in the back seat. And it had all of the bells and whistles I wanted. In fact, it had more than that. It had remote car starting. 10 speakers. And it even integrated with my Zune and Windows Phone. Huge. All for a pricetag under $25K.
Many of you, if you’ve kept reading this far, just thought to yourself:
“Yeah, but you’d be driving a Ford Focus.”
My answer to you is this: What are you paying for? A name plate on the back of your car? A V8 engine that allows you to dramatically accelerate to the posted speed limit? Sport tuned handling for driving in rush hour? A symbol that you make more money than your neighbor? I don’t want (or need) any of those things, and that’s how I ended up ordering a new 2012 Ford Focus.
What are you driving?
Are we being scammed on our displays?
This morning, I arrived at my trusty desktop computer in my home office, only to discover that my 24-inch monitor is going bad. (I have a 24” and a 22” sitting next to each other.) I’ve got a bunch of vertical lines of different colors running through my desktop, and I’m sure it’s only a matter of time until it fails on me. I’ve had this monitor for over 5 years though, so I suppose it’s gotten a good amount of use.
So I headed over to Dell’s website this morning to see what the prices on monitors had dropped to. 5 years ago, the concept of a 30-inch monitor was almost unheard of, or you had tons of money to throw at one. I was sure that the price had come down a bit by now.
I was sorely disappointed. $1299 ON SALE for a 30” monitor. Crap! Over the years, I have hooked up my laptops to many different televisions in my home, and it’s been a pretty enjoyable experience, I know that a 30” HDTV CAN’T be more than a few hundred dollars.
So, I asked this question on Twitter this morning:
I got quite a few responses, and they all had a pretty common theme: refresh rates, max resolution, and contrast.
So, I decided to do a little research, and below are my results. I am comparing a 32” Vizio 1080p HDTV with Dell’s top-of-the-line 30” UltraSharp monitor. My question for you, dear reader, is why would I get the monitor over the television?
 |
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| Product Type | 32” 1080p LCD TV | 30” Monitor |
| Manufacturer | Vizio | Dell |
| Model Number | VOJ320M | U3011 |
| HDMI/DVI/VGA Ports | 3 / 0 / 1 | 2 / 2 / 1 |
| Optimal Resolution | 1920 x 1080 | 2560 x 1600 |
| Pixel Response Time | 6.5ms | 7ms |
| Brightness | 500 cd/m2 | 370 cd/m2 |
| Speakers | 2 | 0 |
| TV Tuner | Analog & Digital | None |
| Weight | 22 lbs | 20.4 lbs |
| Color Depth | 16.7 million | 1.06 billion |
| Viewing Angle | 178 degrees | 178 degrees |
| Aspect Ratio | 16:9 | 16:10 |
| Dynamic Contrast Ratio | 50,000:1 | 100,000:1 |
| VESA Mounting Support | 100 x 100 mm | 200 x 200 mm |
| Pixel Pitch | 0.36375mm | 0.2505mm |
| Viewable Area | 31.5 diagonally | 30” diagonally |
| Price | $329 | $1299 |
Some other thoughts:
Resolution I am currently running my 24” monitor at 1920 x 1080, and I can’t imagine those icons getting any smaller. Is 2560 x 1600 a useful resolution for a work machine? Seems like overkill, especially when I get to the price.
Color Depth Once we’re in the millions, what’s the difference between 16.7 million and 1.06 billion colors? Remember, I play almost no games on this machine. It’s for work.
Dynamic Contrast Ratio I’m not sure if I’d notice the difference between those two values in Visual Studio, Powerpoint, or TweetDeck. Maybe if I turned all the shading on in World of Warcraft, but I doubt it. Mind you, my current 24” monitor has a 3000:1 ratio, so I’m betting either will seem like an improvement.
Pixel Pitch This one’s actually got me a little concerned. Does .1 millimeter between pixels matter? I sincerely don’t know, but for a $900 savings, I’m probably willing to find out.
Display Ports I am currently running one video card that supports VGA, DVI and HDMI outputs. It can handle any two of them at a time. I am only using the VGA and DVI outputs right now. I would expect to use the HDMI with either of these displays.
I’d love to hear from everyone that knows more about this stuff than me (which is pretty much everyone but my mom, I’d bet.) What am I missing?
Mobile games should revisit the past…
I’m sure there’s a reason, but why is it that the most popular games on mobile devices are mindless efforts like bird-flinging? Don’t get me wrong…Angry Birds is addictive and fun, but it’s also generally mindless. Games like Plants vs. Zombies are slightly better, because they require a bit more strategy and planning, but they’re still not on par with some of the games from the past.
What happened to the amazing games of our childhood, though? Games like the original Super Mario Brothers series, or Baseball Stars (quite possibly the greatest baseball game ever created)? Most of these games are far superior to today’s mobile offerings, and are generating little to no revenue for their owners.
How hard would it be for SNK to take the original codebase for Baseball Stars, slap it inside some native container, and port it to iPhone, Android, and Windows Phone? I mean, perhaps I am missing something, but if you had a wildly successful game on the original Nintendo Entertainment System (something high school seniors have probably never ever heard of), why wouldn’t you continue to push that game onto other platforms?
This post was meant to start a discussion. Why do you think we’ll never see some of the amazing games of our childhood on our mobile devices? You can’t tell me that Atari wouldn’t want to sell a couple hundred thousand more copies of Adventure to mobile phone users, right?
What do you think?
A Call For “Friends”
This is an essay on the meaning of the word "friend." It's not going to be about technology (but it is), it's not specifically about me (but it is), and it's not meant to sound whiny or pathetic (but it does.)
I've been on Twitter for years. Like 4 years. And I've got over 2,000 people following me. Two Thousand People. That's more than many small towns.
I've been on Facebook, LinkedIn, TripIt, Plaxo, Live Spaces, Google Whatevertheycallit, FourSquare, and just about every other social network for years as well. (Except for MySpace. That place just always seemed scummy to me.) And I've got thousands of contacts on those places. Some people I see regularly, some I've never met in person. But we're digitally connected in such a way that I have passing knowledge of their interests, their families, their hobbies, and more specifically, "the stuff that's easy to share."
I'm not tooting any horns here, I promise. I'm writing about what it means to have friends. I have this vast wealth of people circled around me at all times, and to be honest, I've never felt more alone. Don't get me wrong. I have a wonderful family, and I socialize relatively often (compared to an agoraphobic, for example). Perhaps I'm just affected by the abundance of television shows that feature three or four couples that do EVERYTHING together. The women are the best of friends. The guys seem to have known each other since they were in elementary school. (I'm looking at you, Perfect Couples, Better With You, Cougar Town, Happy Endings, The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Traffic Light, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, and my new favorite, The League.) And every day, they have some new amazing (yet funny) adventure. Together.
I. Want. That.
(No, I'm not so deluded as to think that television is anything like real life. But relationships are relationships, plain and simple.)
Perhaps it's also because I have "the luxury" of working from home. Working from home certainly has its benefits, but there are also consequences. Access to a refrigerator full of the food you love isn't exactly a blessing. At least not for my waistline. Sitting silently in an office by yourself every day only seems good because you hate the guy you share a cube with. I truly miss the watercooler conversations, as empty as they may have seemed at the time. They were connections, and as social networking has shown us, connections are gold.
For every new "friend" I make on Facebook, however, I feel like "friendship" has lost its luster. I DO want to know about your kids, your latest vacation, and your new found love for the game of golf, but I want to know it because we sat in a sportsbar and watched our favorite team get slaughtered. Again. We sat for hours and talked about "stuff." Conversations twisted and turned, contained humorous interjections, and perhaps even had an inside joke or two. Facebook and Twitter are missing that one key component to a REAL friendship, and that's shared experiences.
Do me a favor...think of your best friend from high school or college. Now think of an outrageous story that happened to the two of you. You have that story because you did things TOGETHER. We don't do things together on the internet. Sure, we collaborate, or chat, or reply to email, or even go so far as to play World of Warcraft (or some other game, I suppose), but I still contend that you're not really doing that "together." Never have I told someone about "this hilarious email chain I've been a part of". I've never said "remember when I ousted you as the Mayor of Panera?" These trivial factoids and photos that we share on the internet do not strong bonds make.
So, if I seem overly forward the next time we talk, and invite you to grab a beer (even though we may have never hung out before), it's because I'm changing my game. On the flipside, if I DON'T do these things, don't take it personally. In fact, call me out on it. I love people, and getting to know ANYONE is better than sitting in front of this computer for one more evening. There's one thing my mother told me when I was young that has always stuck with me, and it's only gotten truer with time:
"If you want to do things with your friends, you're going to have to call them. Sitting home and waiting for an invitation is NEVER going to happen."
I've been waiting on social networks, and I've realized that friendships aren't made there. They're observed.
5th Blogging Anniversary
5 years ago, I started writing articles online. They weren’t good. Some of them were just wrong. But they’ve all contributed to the writer I am today.
I hope you enjoy reading my ramblings here as much I I enjoy writing them. These articles are truly one of my favorite things I get to do as a developer, second only to creating something awesome in code.
Today is article #342. That’s almost 70 a year, for 5 years. Here’s to looking forward to the next 5. Thank you, as always, for your continued support and enthusiasm.